Rules of the Road

Hello everyone, I just got back from a trip to Wudang Shan a couple of days ago. Things have been pretty busy here with school. I plan to write about my trip to Wudang in detail sometime next week. In the meantime, I have made a list of rules for driving in China that I would like to share with you.

1. Ignore all road markings, especially the one in the center that is painted in yellow.

2. All signs are suggestions, including stop signs and traffic lights.

3. Drive with your lights on at night only if you can afford to compromise on your mileage.

4. Do not use your turn signal. If you must use your turn signal, make sure not to turn it off until you have arrived at your destination.

5. Honk your horn under the following circumstances

   1. You are about to pass someone

   2. You are passing someone

   3. You have just passed someone

   4. Someone is about to pass you

   5. Someone is passing you

   6. Someone has just passed you

   7. You are about to make a turn

   8. You want someone to move out of your way

   9. You are about to hit someone

   10. Someone is about to hit you

   11. You recognize someone you know

   12. There is an ox in the road

   13. You haven't honked your horn in over a minute.

6. All vehicles are allowed on the road regardless of size, shape, or mode of locomotion.

7. If you drive a scooter you should drive unpredictably, go the wrong way half of the time, and make sure to utilize pedestrian walkways and crosswalks whenever possible.

8. When making a left-hand turn across a busy street, slowly ease your way into oncoming traffic, lay on the horn, and hope for the best.

The overall effect is something like Cornfest in a city of 6 million people where the roads are left open.